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Two and a Half Men quotes 728 total quotes All Seasons Season 1 Season 2 Season 3 Season 4 Season 5 Season 6 Season 7 Season 8 View Quote Alan [to Jake]: Oh, oh, remember, you're being punished. So no TV, no computer, no Game Boy. Charlie, I need you to be my eyes and ears. Charlie: OK, but you have to be my liver and prostate. View Quote


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Alan: Oh, come one, Mom, I am going to be homeless, once he marries her; I am going to be living on the street. Evelyn: Try to pick a street in Beverly Hills, so I visit you Permalink: Can I come.


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Jake: Your mom is my grandma. Charlie: Yeah.


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Two And A Half Men: 10 Funniest Berta Quotes By Jonathan Meschutt Published Oct 30, 2020 Berta was always one of the best parts of Two and a Half Men, and lines like these prove exactly why that is.


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Conchata Ferrell had many memorable roles throughout her illustrious career in Hollywood, but none of them earned her as much praise or fame as the character of Berta, the tough-as-nails housekeeper on Two and a Half Men. RELATED: Two & A Half Men: 10 Best Recurring Characters The adored actress sadly passed away at the age of 77 on October 12 and fans of the CBS comedy can fondly look back.


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1 Teeth Well, listen, just remember, that love will get u through times of no money better, than money will get you through times of no love. Alan Harper - Season 9 Episode 20 5 Alan: "Why don't you get a vasectomy?" Charlie: "I've considered it. In fact, a couple of years ago I believe there was a petition circulating."


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Two and a Half Men Quotes Alan Harper: Jake can hear you two in bed. Judith Harper: Oh God! Oh God! Herb: He didn't hear that. TV Show: Two and a Half Men | 0 Alan: Charlie, there is a half-naked woman in our kitchen. Charlie: Which half? TV Show: Two and a Half Men | 0


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Two and a Half Men (TV Series 2003-2015) - Quotes - IMDb Cast & crew User reviews IMDbPro Quotes Two and a Half Men Edit [ repeated line] Berta: [ whenever she sees a big mess being made] I ain't cleaning that up! Helpful • 67 1 Alan Harper: Okay, name 3 things you would change about me. Charlie: Your personality, your wardrobe and your address.


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Two and a Half Men (2003-2015) was a sitcom originally starring Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones. The series was about a hedonistic jingle writer, Charlie Harper, his uptight brother, Alan and Alan's mischievous son, Jake.


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Two And A Half Men Quotes How much blow can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men. Jon Lovitz Blow, Men, Two 53 Copy quote Show source Do you have any idea how much an elephant drinks? Sara Gruen Elephants, Ideas, True Romance 7 Copy quote It doesn't matter if you win or lose, until you lose. Lanny Bassham Cheer, Winning, Grease


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I am excited for you. Yeah, my only worry is t. Added: May 10, 2013 Jake: Hey, she hit me with the wall of respect. 
Tammy: And you slept with my daughter. 
Jake: So we will call it even?.


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A great memorable quote from the Two and a Half Men movie on Quotes.net - [first lines]Charlie Harper: [singing] Joy to the world, I'm getting laid / I'm getting laid tonight / We'll light the log and deck the halls / And then we'll play some jingle balls / It's been a long, long wait / It's just our second date / It's Christmas eve, and I'm getting laid.


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Alan: Oh, you poor guy. You have to drive forty-five minutes to get laid. Charlie: And forty-five minutes to get back. That's ninety minutes behind the wheel for twenty, thirty minutes behind. well, I don't need to draw you a map. [the morning after Charlie tried to sleep at Chelsea's apartment] Charlie:


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A great memorable quote from the Two and a Half Men movie on Quotes.net - Kimberly: [takes a drink] I was raised by my Grandma. I called her "Nana".Charlie Harper: Is that so?Kimberly: [takes a drink] Yeah. I was raised by my Grandma. I called her "Nana".Charlie Harper: Uh huh.Kimberly: [takes a drink] Oh yeah, she was a big influence on me.


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1. Live Like There's No Tomorrow © Warner Bros. If one thing Charlie knew apart from picking up women was how to party. The man drank like a fish and had a life with no regrets. Be it women, pot,.


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"Two and a Half Men" Quotes 63 quotes more on this quote ›› Alan Harper-Wait a minute, you don't consider me a friend? Charlie Harper-It's not up to me. A friend is someone you choose, a brother is someone you get. Alan Harper- Excuse me? Charlie Harper-There's no choice involved!